Episode #3 A Radical Encounter with Jesus | Gavin Boyd's Testimony!

And I was listening to worship music for the first time.

And I was worshiping God on the way back, crying the entire ride.

Literally.

I ran out of tears to cry.

I had to drink more water so I can cry more tears.

My name is Jonah Rowan, and I'm here with Dakota Christensen and special guest Gavin Boyd.

Welcome on, brother.

I'm so happy to have you here.

Yeah.

How are you doing, man?

Yeah, I'm doing great, man.

Just happy to be here.

Thank you all for having me on.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Had a good week so far.

Yeah, dude, it's been great, man.

You know, I've been uh just going through school.

Spring break is this week, so it's been kind of boring.

Um, but man, it's been a good opportunity to grow and just hang out with some friends and fellowship.

So let's go, man.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Well, you want to do a prayer with the guests, and then we'll get rolling.

Yeah.

Gavin, would you pray for us?

Yeah, absolutely.

Uh dear Lord, uh, thank you so much, God, for just bringing the three of us here today, God, and and whoever is uh watching and listening to this today, Lord, I pray, God, that you would just encounter them in a real way, Lord.

Let my story um and the things that we we discuss on this podcast to just touch their heart, God, and break down any any walls or any barriers that they might have keeping them from hearing your voice today, God.

And I pray, Lord, that you would just move in a supernatural way uh in the midst of us, God.

Um, just continue to open doors for us, Lord, and open doors for anybody who's listening and watching.

Um, God, I know you say that you make all things work uh together for the good of those who love you, God.

And I pray that that you would just uh answer in a bold way today because we love you, Lord, and and we're here for you, and um, we love you.

Amen.

Well, dude, we're we are so uh we're so blessed to be able um to have you on here and man, we've been so encouraged by uh by having you in group on Monday nights, and you've just you've brought so much so much wisdom, and I'm sure you've uh um helped uh a lot of people through their circumstances, just pouring out wisdom onto them.

And we're we're grateful for your for your leadership and in that.

And man, we're just so encouraged by your story.

Yeah.

So uh we want to just like allow you to have the space to be as as vulnerable as you want and and just share like like where you were and and where God's brought you out of.

So yeah.

Yeah, so um I grew up in a household, man, that uh uh they they said they believed in Jesus.

Uh we went to church uh every now and then, um, but we're never really connected in a church.

Um and I grew up myself, you know, my my own I was from an early age, um, I was very intelligent.

Um my pre-K teachers were would always tell me, like uh and my parents that that I have a special gift uh for learning.

I was reading books at age two.

Um, and the this this kind of pride uh got to my soul at an early age.

So I was a person who was very wise in my own eyes.

I thought that I I was above other people um in a lot of in a lot of ways.

And uh growing up in an environment, you know, spiritually dead, far from God, I I uh kind of placed all my hope and my trust in myself and my own intelligence and my own ego.

And uh going through grade school, man, it was it was tough.

It was tough uh for all the people who who who got to know me and um who who walked with me through those lives, Christians.

They they walked with me at an early age, man, and uh I I remember uh causing them to stumble with with my own ego, thinking, man, you're your God is not real.

You know, you believe in sending good people to hell.

You know, how dare you think this way?

And um I was in opposition to the church of God in a lot of ways, like Paul was.

And um, you know, just going up growing up through that, feeling like I didn't need anybody, I didn't need my parents, I was smarter than them, better than them.

Um, they couldn't tell me anything different.

And I got to a point at age 13 when I was just rebelling, running away from home.

Uh, they were calling the cops on me, and uh I would get into such heated arguments with my dad that they would turn physical.

And I always thought that I was stronger and better than him, anyways.

And when we get in these physical arguments, um I I would I would hit him.

And um there was nothing they could really do to restrain me.

Um and uh it just broke my parents' heart in such a such a tragic way, and and the and deep down in my heart, I thought, man, their lives would just be better if I wasn't even born.

You know, but of course I didn't ever want to get that vulnerable with anybody, so I I shielded that broken heart off.

And uh eighth grade, I met a girl.

Um she was a you know innocent, sweet girl.

Uh um grew up, her family didn't believe in God, but she stayed out of trouble.

Um, on the outside, you know, the world says she was good for me.

And we got together, but man, those demons came with me.

And uh came, you know, the stuff that she was facing too came with her.

She had chronic anxiety, chronic was had panic attacks nonstop.

And me being uh selfish and egotistical, I I uh learned how to be able to manipulate her by being there for her, loving her, being her source of comfort, um, and all those things, but expecting from her to give me all the love that I need and putting these high expectations and raising the bar every chance that I got so that she could meet all the expectations that I had in my life.

And um, people just became kind of a pawn in my in my game, game plan.

I didn't have much empathy or sympathy for people.

And um, tenth grade came around.

I was invited on a church trip uh by Pastor Jacob Whitehead, uh student pastor at Cross Point City Church.

Shout out to him.

Yeah, my guy, yeah.

My good friend Colin Sizemore uh grew up.

Shout out to him too.

We love Colin.

Yes, and uh Colin, man, he he was just a great, great, great man.

I mean, growing up, my parents would always say, like, he is he is such he is the best kid that we know, and they'd compare me to him, make me feel almost like, man, I, you know, and of course my ego didn't like that so much, so I went after it.

I went after his faith.

And uh, we were on this trip.

Jacob gave me his personal Bible, had underlines in it and everything, and it was it was his Bible, it was new, I think.

I mean, it was like a brand new Bible, it was nice.

Uh, and he gave it to me and he said, like, I want you to have this.

And he he prayed for me.

And um, that softened my heart enough, I guess, to go on the church trip with them.

Uh, my heart was so hardened towards God in the first place, too, because my grandpa, he's a pastor at United Methodist Church, and uh he he uh, you know, I don't know too much about their theology, but his theology was was very, very off.

Uh he cheated on my grandmother.

Um was abusive to her emotionally, psychologically, all the things, um, and put a divide in my family.

So that's the view I had of God growing up uh in Christianity and Jesus and I just it was it grouping them all together.

So um we went on this trip, and uh me and Jacob got into a conversation, and I said, Hey, my girlfriend isn't a believer.

Do y'all believe that she's going to hell?

And you know, I I I love my girlfriend at the at the time, and um, of course, I wanted his answer to be no, because I'd heard growing up all the things like Jesus is the only way to way to the Father, the way to eternal life.

And when he had an honest conversation with me, he told me the truth boldly.

It revealed my inner heart towards God.

And I lost it on this trip, man.

I was up, I think 2 a.m.

Just I was in Cullen's room and was just going at him, going at his faith.

You believe innocent children from from the Middle East are going to hell and suffering for all of eternity, which by the way, I mean, there is an occasion age of accountability.

Yeah, you know, I don't babies are not going to hell.

You know, um I and I truly believe that, and that's biblical.

Yeah.

Um that's uh sorry, real quick.

That's just for the listeners.

So um an example of that, 2 Samuel chapter 12 talks about uh when David lost his his child very shortly after birth, and uh it says that David will one day go to be with his son, meaning his son went to heaven.

Um, but anyways, continue.

I just want to point that out.

Yeah, it's important, it's very important.

Very uh, but I didn't understand this at the time, and you know, I was not seeking answers.

I wanted to prove my point.

I wanted to, like I said, I thought I was so wise in myself.

Um, and so you know, they they probably gave me great answers, but I didn't want to hear any of them.

All I saw was y'all are saying the the woman that I love is going to hell, so I turned a blind eye.

Um and that relationship uh fell apart tremendously.

Um I was an abusive boyfriend, straight up, uh emotionally, physically, man.

I was I was uh I treated her horribly and I manipulated her and used her and uh the consequences of that relationship, man, sent her down a dark path, but it sent me down a dark path as well.

And I found this hole so much in my ego because she broke up with me and I decided, you know, why don't I just join the football team, start playing football, start working out, get really big, get a, you know, as many women's attention as I can.

So that's what I did.

I played football uh my senior year high school.

You know, got to the point I was starting on uh special teams and you know, going out, and our our football team is very competitive, 7-8 school, North Paulding.

Um, and you know, I was hanging out with the most popular guys in school and getting all the attention from women.

And uh there was this one girl in my class.

I was taking this filler class, senior year, you know, I had all the credits I needed to graduate, four OGPA, you know, I was taking intro to law and public safety.

And there's this girl in there, you know, she was a freshman.

Um she she was supposed to be a sophomore, she got held back.

She was 15 years old.

And I I was 17 at the time.

So I thought in my head, you know, that ain't the worst thing ever.

Right, uh, 17 and 15.

And I was just thinking numbers, right?

You know, what would other people think?

What could I get her out of her?

Um, and we we we hung out one time at the pool and she invited me and I went up there and um I I asked her if she wanted to get in my car, and she did, and we went back to my house and I had had sex with her.

And um she after after this I realized, man, people probably wouldn't receive this very well.

I'm a senior, she's a freshman, so I cut the whole thing off.

Cut it off right there.

But man, this girl, this girl was obsessed with me.

She followed me everywhere, and she was heartbroken by this.

Um again, too, with the sexual relations and the soul tie that that puts on you, man.

Like I I understand, bro.

Um, but man, she she went on social media basically and retaliated and said that uh basically tried to slander my name.

And uh a friend of hers mom got a hold of it and wrote a police report on me for her being under the age of consent, which is 16.

And uh the police came to my door, searched my house, um, and I got arrested for statutory rape at 17.

And I went to adult jail for four days.

And I was in there with with there's one dude, you know, red wristband, he's a murderer.

Um, I saw one dude, you know, the the rooms are see-through, you know, they're just naked walking around and just just drug addicts, man.

A drug house got busted right before I went in there.

So there's just a whole house full of druggies, and and at this point, I sort of just got to a point in my life where I didn't care anymore.

I was so broken from all the years growing up and uh had this void so big in me that I had been constantly trying to fill my whole life with women and sex and drugs even and um all these things, and I got to a point where I was in there.

I didn't even cry.

I didn't care.

I thought, man, well, this is it.

And um after I got out of jail, I was known around the school as a as a rapist.

I walked to my classes with a hoodie up, walk down the hallway, get yelled at, you know, made fun of, pushed around.

Um and uh that's when I decided to to lie about it, pin it all on the girl, and I got a bunch of people to believe it, and she got bullied out of school for it, man.

She got bullied hard.

And uh I won the football team over, and they did the work for me, you know, because they were my brothers.

Um but man, after I graduated high school, bro, I I went to UGA on a full scholarship, and I thought, you know, this is where I'm gonna start over.

All the unfortunate stuff that happened to me, right?

I was this this victim, and and and now I get to start over going to UGA and live the life that I deserve, you know.

Everybody else is living the good the good life.

And uh, you know, started going there for a few weeks.

And after three weeks, I had a knock on my door, and it was from two two police officers, and they said that because of the nature of the crime that they figured out that I had committed, uh, that I had only two hours to pack up and move.

And at this point, I had practically no relationship with my parents.

Uh, my brother, you know, we were we hadn't talked much uh far from him too, and and uh I I called my dad and I was crying, and he was speechless.

He didn't know what to say.

And during this phone call, I realized that all of the things that had gone on in my life just caused me so much pain, and that life wasn't even worth living anymore.

So I I basically told him my farewell.

I told him that this is it, like I I want to kill myself.

Um and one of the girls I was talking to at the time, I basically told her the same thing.

And uh I walked outside of my dorm, I walked down the road, and I had very much considered jumping out in front of a car that was moving by and just whatever happens, happens.

I didn't care.

But I held on to some form of hope.

And I walked all the way down to the psychiatric office at UGA and the Tate Center.

Shout out to Tate Center.

Um But yeah, there was there was a man in there, and he and he just sat down there and listened to me.

And I was just I was talking and and telling him, like, I walked in there just like the same attitude I have right now, just eye to eye, no emotion on my face, you know, and just told him, I I just don't think life is worth living.

I'm thinking rationally, not even emotionally.

Rationally, logically, I don't think life is even worth living.

And he's trying to convince me, no, well, it can feel that way.

I'm like, look, man, this is not feelings, this is just fact.

And what I didn't realize at the time, I had discovered a greater truth, that because my life was built on the temporary things of this world and it would come to the end, come to an end anyways, I was right.

Life really had no meaning to me, no purpose.

You know, my purpose on this earth was just to suffer um from my broken heart and inflict pain on other people.

Like, yeah, that's not a life worth living.

Um and that day I just I said, well, I I can do one of two things.

I can go and end my life, or I can just see what the world has to offer and just go have live my life and be free.

So I decided to do that.

I called my friend who dropped out of high school and became a drug dealer, and um I said, Hey, if your uh company's hiring, he did home renovations, I'll I'll come live with you and work for you uh in South Carolina, Columbia.

Very dark place, very, very dark place.

And um I did.

I packed up all my stuff and I moved in, cut off contact with my parents.

Didn't really have very many friends.

I had one.

His name is Brantley, and he he's a believer.

Um, he was one of the only guys in high school to actually stand by me and to love me through the situation that I was in.

You know, when everybody else thought I was um a monster, man, he he he would go and work out with me, talk to me, love on me.

Again, I didn't believe what he believed, but you know, I appreciated his heart.

And I was in South Carolina, man, and gosh, I was going out and smoking weed every night, partying my my my tail off, drinking alcohol, um coming to work and drinking.

And I was hooking up with women all the time.

And I got to a place in my life where I realized that man, this stuff is is is not making me feel better.

Yeah.

It's it's it's not working.

And um that despair accumulated every day that I was there because I thought this is where I was gonna heal.

Turns out the world lied to me.

That living your truth, living whatever feels good, didn't fill me.

It only left me more empty.

And man, I fell into this dark, dark despair.

Um, and uh I remember having so much rage in me that like, well, what is there?

What more is there?

Um Well, uh one day my boss who he he he has a character of uh being very, very evil to people.

Just wicked man.

Um, but then laughing.

Say, I'm just kidding.

You know.

And um he's reads books literally on manipulation.

How he can manipulate people.

I mean, he wasn't even paying one dude that was working for him, got mad, manipulated him to come back and work for him, didn't pay him a second time.

The other guy, he was um his partner, he was trying to uh take advantage of and and take a lot of the money from the company, and they got into a fight.

And his partner, man, he he was in a rough spot, but he was seeking truth, he was seeking Christ.

Um, but he got he got to a very, very sad point.

He was just sad, man.

That wasn't really standing up for himself, and this guy was just running all over him, just being nasty.

And I saw it and I stepped in.

And I was about I was about this distance from him with my arm up, my hand up, saying, I have nothing to lose.

I'm just gonna unload everything, all my rage into this man's face and hit him as hard as I can.

But right when I was about this distance, I stopped, and I decided, you know, maybe, just maybe there is something else that it's not worth throwing my life away yet.

Not yet.

So I held on to the little bit of hope that I did have and I decided to walk away.

Walked away to my car to cool off, but that rage didn't go away.

And I had no one to direct it on to this time.

I had no one to punch, no one to scream at, no one to blame, not my parents.

So me being alone in my car, guess who I directed it on to?

I directed it on to God.

Started driving down the road.

Um, and I was like, God, screaming, man.

Why did you put me on this earth just to suffer?

What more is there for my life?

If you really had a plan for my life, why am I in Columbia, South Carolina, wasting my life away, living with a drug dealer?

I mean, uh, I was so angry and just in this despair.

I said, God, if you're really out there.

If you're really true, honestly, half mocking him, but also half serious.

Send me a sign.

The second I finished that sentence, a dog ran out in front of my car as I was driving down the road.

And a wave came over me.

And I said, I ain't got nothing to lose.

Parked my car, slammed on my brakes, parked my car, opened the door, didn't even bother to close my door.

Literally, that's how that's how much I was committed to chasing this dog.

Left my car in the middle of the road in a busy intersection.

And I chased this dog for a mile down the road and croced.

And um there were other people seeing it and they, you know, they thought it was my dog.

So there were like many, many people that were standing in the way trying to catch this dog.

A police officer even pulled over into the grass, got out of his car, and started chasing after this dog.

Nobody could catch him.

And the dog stopped in the median of the road and just sat there and looked at me.

And I got right up to him.

And as I was about to grab him by like the ear or something, you know, he he eluded me.

But I sat there and I just stared in his eyes for like a couple seconds.

And I was just, he did just the like the most green, like almost like oh, divine looking eyes, like out of like an angel almost.

Like it was just, I've never seen eyes like this before on a dog.

And it was very, it was captivating.

Um, but anyways, I I chase this dog, and this dog you know turns off the highway finally, running all through the other side of the road.

I'm running into traffic as cars are flying by.

Um finally gets off the road and he runs into this guy's backyard.

Now, this is a house that's rotten from the outside, it's falling apart.

And he comes down off his front porch and he said, That's my dog.

And I said, I almost hit your dog with my car a mile down the road.

What was he doing out?

And he said, I don't know, but I don't really care.

I just picked that dog up from the pound.

And I was just at this point, I was like, Man, how could you be so cruel to treat an animal like that, to not even care about him?

But he still runs back to you when all I wanted to do was help, help.

And um I didn't know what any of that meant, obviously.

Went back to my car and uh it was gone.

Car's completely gone.

So I'm in bad area thinking this is over.

Car's all I have left to my name.

All I really have left, it's over.

But in that moment, I realized it might seem like it's over, but something crazy just happened.

And God, again, if you're out there, show me where my car is.

I still had hope.

I didn't give up that hope.

I never did.

And God somehow led me to a parking lot where my car was sitting in.

And I saw it far off and I ran over to it.

And I opened the door, and there was a note in it that said, I saw you chasing that dog, so I moved your car for you.

Um I later found out the person left their name.

I did some FBI research, and person, you know, lived just down the road.

Um, and as a Christian.

So I uh I realized in that, and you know, in that moment, like, wow, this couldn't have been an accident, right?

So I went to my glove box, and lo and behold, the Bible that Jacob Whitehead gave me all those years ago at this point, probably five, six years ago, man.

I I opened it and I just started reading random stuff.

I didn't know what I was really looking at.

So I was like, all right, Google help me out.

What's every instance of the word dog in the Bible?

And so the first thing came up, I went to it.

And right here, Proverbs 26.

Um, for some context, I'll read some scripture before.

Um, so we'll start at verse 4.

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.

Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Sending a message by the hands of a fool is like cutting off one's feet or drinking poison.

Like the useless legs of one who is lame is the proverb in the mouth of a fool.

Like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool.

Like a thorn bush in a drunkard's hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.

Like an archer who wounds at random is one who hires a fool or any passerby.

So I started reading this.

I was like, this seems a lot like my boss.

He was hiring guys off the street.

Dudes that were coming out and they were just smoking at the site, and he was barely paying, and you know, dudes.

Um he was just he was hiring any passerby that would walk by and would work for him.

And um the next verse is really where it gets interesting.

Verse 11 says, as a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

So that dog that returned back to that guy's backyard, back to his vomit, it was me.

I was repeating these same schemes of the devil that were sending my life into a downward spiral because I was this wise person in my own eyes that couldn't see outside of my own flesh.

I couldn't see what was going on around me because I was so ensnared by the enemy.

And um, when I read this verse, man, it woke my heart up.

So I immediately became softened to whatever else God had to say, and I kept reading.

Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?

There's more hope for a fool than for them.

That convicted me because I was that person.

And then verse 13, or yeah, verse 13, I'm also this person, the sluggard.

A sluggard says there's a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets.

So now I realized that not only was I the dog, but I was the lion roaming the streets.

I was a pawn in the devil's in the devil's scheme.

I was in his playground and he was the one using me to roam the streets, to take advantage of people, to do his work, to hurt everybody I came in contact with and manipulate people and to be deceitful and to lie, and and uh the Holy Spirit through this verse, man, encountered me.

It was such a deep and intense encounter that I didn't even cry when I got arrested, but I cried for six hours.

Six hours straight in my car.

Um and so I kept reading as I was crying.

And uh verse 14 says, as a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed.

I'm at a construction site.

I'd been just putting up a door that day.

And I was I was a a depressed, depraved man.

I would come back from the bar at 2 a.m.

and just be so depressed.

I was in this despair, and I was the sluggard.

I mean, can't make this up.

And it gets even crazier.

As a sluggard buries his hand in the dish, he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.

A sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven people who answer discreetly.

Guess how many people were working for my boss that day?

Seven people answering to my boss.

Wow.

And so, man, it's like the construction sites in there, I'm visioning it, and then seven men answering discreetly, and then here I am, the sluggard who's wiser in his own eyes, then all these people.

And I'm just like, wow, this is my situation.

This is literally me in present time.

And as I'm crying, verse 17 is where I just start on like just howling out in tears.

Verse 17 says, like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.

And if y'all know what a quarrel is, it's a fight.

I was about to rush into that fight and punch, punch my boss in the face.

That wasn't my own fight.

And like the one who grabs a straight dog by the ears, there's a stray dog that I was trying to grab by the ears just I don't know how many minutes ago, and I was just I couldn't even believe it.

And at this point, I was like, God, there's no turning back for me.

You're you're the way.

You're you're you're you're you I had encountered him in such a deep, intense way through this through this word, man.

And I I put everything I had at the table at the altar in front of him, and I said, God, I'm not gonna do my things my way anymore.

And I surrendered.

And I over and over again, man, just in case I didn't get saved the first time, bro, because I knew how the I knew how salvation worked at least, and I I was Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord, over and over and over and over again for like an hour straight, was just re-surrendering to him.

Like I was like, God, I I need you.

Like, if the first 50 times was not enough, like I say it again, Jesus, you're Lord.

And I just kept saying it, and it kept dwelling up tears in me.

And then I I it was nighttime at this point.

Six hours later, I get out of my car and I walk over to my boss, and he's he's mad, man.

He's like, What have you been doing all day?

Just been in your car, you know, and I'm crying, and he stops and he looks at me like I'm crazy.

I'm walking up to him, just welling up with tears and grin like the biggest grin you'll ever see, the biggest smile on my face.

He's like, What is going on?

And I walk up to him and I don't stop.

And he kind of like moves away.

He's like, What's going on?

And I go in for a hug and I hug him.

And I just I start crying and hugging him.

And I I'm like, dude, I love you, man.

It's like it's insane.

And then I and then at the end, I say, I said, and and God loves you too.

Jesus loves you.

And it he's like, he's one of the most biggest haters of God ever.

I mean, this guy, he's like, all right, whatever.

You know, but he's like, man, that is weird.

This guy's weird.

And I was like, I know I'm weird.

You know, I embraced it.

I literally, at this point, I was like, I got into my car, um, packed all my stuff up, and um, I decided to go back home.

And I got home around 12:30 midnight, um, about three and a half hour drive.

The whole drive there, I was listening to gospel music on a radio station that I that I found because I think my phone was dead.

It was like 90 94.3 or something.

I don't know.

It was it was a Christian radio station, and I was listening to worship music for the first time, and I was worshiping God on the way back, crying the entire ride.

Literally, I ran out of tears to cry.

I had to drink more water so I can cry more tears.

Dude, I can't tell you how many times I've done that.

Like just being in the car, like worshiping and singing and then crying and doing it.

It's it's yeah, literally.

You're driving down the road and you're like, Yeah, ma'am, people passing by, you're like, oh man, please don't think I'm a weirdo.

I was I was on the interstate, man, and I and all I saw was uh because I left around when the sun was coming down, man, and just the beauty, beauty of God's creation.

It was the first time I really even paid attention to it.

My whole life, I had just so much other stuff, you know, and I was finally free.

And at this point, I realized my depression's gone, my anxiety's gone, my broken heart's been healed in this moment.

And I didn't want it to end.

So I got I got to my house, man, and my parents came out and they were they were mad.

They're like, oh my gosh, he's home.

No, you know, uh, we thought, and again, I'm just crying.

I walk up and I hug them for the first time since I was young, man.

A real, genuine hug.

Tell them that I love them and the same thing.

I love you, and and God loves you.

And I went into the scripture and I showed them and I told them the story, and I still couldn't even believe it myself.

But I was like, there's something very real that happened to me, and I don't feel the same.

And nothing's ever made me feel this way before.

And so they on a leap of faith trusted it and let me stay.

And I started that old friend Brantley, the Christian, I said, Can I come to church with you Sunday?

I'm back home.

I told them the story.

And man, he got me into this church, this Atco Baptist Church.

Shout out to them, Cartersville.

Um, great man, Pastor Justin.

Uh, he's he's great, great, great man.

Um, they they started uh discipling me and I got baptized at that church, man.

Um it was it was just an honor to to be able to to be there um and to have a man like Pastor Justin in my life.

And um it was it was incredible too because my parents started coming to that church and um God softened their heart through it and they're they're believers now.

And um praise God.

We all still have a long way to go, but man, I'm I'm just proud of them for taking the steps they've been taking.

Yeah.

And it's just been it's been an incredible journey since then.

Like I man, I can't I can't even explain how much my life's different.

I don't even know where to start with that.

I can tell my whole testimony, but you know, going into how my life's different now, it's like it's I I could talk for days about it.

I mean, I have a wonderful girlfriend, her name's Katie.

Like we're pursuing, um, we're pursuing a future together, and we're taking things slow and we're hearing from the Lord and being very, very intentional about our walk.

And um, I and I have a call to uh pastoral ministry now for my life.

So I'm beginning to take those steps as well.

And uh man, it's like the joy that makes no sense, the peace that makes no sense in my life.

Um it it's it's what I live by every day.

And every time I'm in this word, man, like God just encounters me in just such a beautiful way.

And um a very personal way.

It's only only you can understand, really.

It's it's um it's uh it's just so beautiful.

And um for for anybody listening right now, and uh, I I just want to say that that's possible for you.

If it can happen to a man like me who persecuted the church of God, who persecuted his followers, who caused them to stumble and to fall into sexual immorality, God takes very seriously I was an abomination for the way I was living.

But he saved me out of that through Jesus through pouring out his wrath on him instead of me.

Making a way for me to be redeemed and reconciled back to him.

And that's possible for for for you.

It's been possible for these two men.

I'm sitting across from right now.

They both have very amazing stories and and um I get emotional every time I talk about it, man, but it just it's the truth.

It's uh it's a real it's a real love.

Yeah.

Well dude, uh, I just see so many parallels between between your story and and the story of Paul, who was formerly Saul in the uh in the book of Acts, when he was uh one of the chief Pharisees out there killing Christians for their very profession of faith in Jesus.

And he had this encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus, and and basically it was like everything changed.

Just an instant transition of lifestyle.

So instead of persecuting Christians for their faith in Jesus, now he's now he's fulfilled with this purpose and and this mission to go out there and make disciples of all nations like Jesus calls us to in the Great Commission.

So Paul literally he drops everything, drops the title of of everything that he was doing in his past life, and he goes and pursues what God has called him to do.

And um I think that's a very telling sign of somebody who is filled with the spirit.

Yeah, are you are you pursuing your one more?

Are you pursuing your mission that God has called you to do?

And we see that um in Acts chapter 1, verse 8.

He said, You will receive power, and then and then you will go and be my witness in uh in Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria, and then to all of the ends of the earth.

So God that that's when that's when um God pours out his Holy Spirit, and then that's when the disciples like, okay, game time.

Yeah, time to go.

And then they go start making disciples of all nations, and they scatter, and they just start making disciples, and that's awesome, man.

And I just love how you just you have that calling over your life, and um, well, even more so too, like you went through a lot of trials and tribulations the same way that Paul did, right?

You know, like he had an extremely humbling experience um that brought him to that faith, that brought him to that um that side of the fence, so to speak, where he decided he was gonna, you know, follow Jesus and and spread his word and and have a ministry, right?

So I mean that's you know brings a whole like deeper intimate side to your story, yeah.

Um going through similar things um and experiences and having that radical experience with with Jesus that you know that turned you and and changed your life.

So I mean that's that's crazy, man.

It's it's such a powerful, you know, story and testimony, man.

I want to kind of um bring this a different direction and kind of uh sort of start start to close on this.

Um so uh you have mentioned that the things that that you were doing in your in your life before you knew Jesus, such as the the X, Y, and Z that you had mentioned in your testimony, like the the bars and the the women and the things that that society portrays as hey, this is a good thing.

Yeah.

What would you have to say to the person who is actively living in this and they call this freedom when they don't actually realize that that thing they call freedom is actually bondage and it's holding you back from from the life more abundantly that that Jesus promises through Scripture?

Yeah, yeah.

I would say uh there's a popular worship song, it's called Made for More.

Love this great song.

I would say, man, um, you know, why make a bed in your shame when there's a fountain of grace that's calling your name?

And that you're made for more.

You don't have to live in your vomit.

You don't have to run back to it, even look at it.

Um you were made for a way bigger, beautiful, more beautiful purpose than you could ever even imagine.

And uh living in that calling, I mean there's no greater joy.

You could be behind bars, you could be at a really dark spot in your life, man.

But if you have the hope of the gospel and you're stepping into your calling wherever you're at, everything is gonna seem like an opportunity.

Every person you talk to.

And it's not an opportunity for you, it's an opportunity for Christ.

It's an opportunity to share the hope that you've received and watch that hope change people's lives.

And there's no bigger, beautiful, more beautiful thing than that.

It goes above politics, world, systems, day-to-day struggles.

It goes beyond all of that.

Everything seems so small in comparison to that calling.

And um if you step forward, the Holy Spirit will give you the backbone and the courage to be able to step in.

And to do it.

It doesn't matter how much Bible you know, how much of the law you know, how much church history you know.

The two things that the devil hates the most is the blood of the Lamb and your testimony.

Yeah.

And if you've received that, man.

Yeah, I mean your testimony is like the sharpest part of your sword, man.

Amen.

That's it.

You know, and wound the enemy the worst.

Yep.

You know, in the deepest.

That's how you're gonna do that.

Um that's how you win that battle.

Yeah.

Um, because like oftentimes with most people, you know, like you end up kind of turning them away, just throwing a bunch of scripture at them, man.

But when you just sit down humbly and just have a conversation of where you were, where Jesus found you, or where you found Jesus, where he took you from and where you are now, man, like that's the easiest, most simple way for the Lord to just enter somebody's heart, just intercede and just uh rescue them from you know from where they where they're currently at, you know.

Um it's the most beautiful thing when that happens too, especially when you get to witness that happen in somebody's life, man.

It's like, you know, you just kind of look up and you're like, man, you know, how amazing are you, you know, for for changing that person's life.

It's uh it's really encouraging.

Yeah, I uh I definitely don't understand the pushback whenever um people complain about us forcing our religion on other people.

It's like no, like we were once blind and now we see.

And we're trying to help all these people who are lost and broken in their sin to have an encounter with the real Jesus, and they'll say, Oh, don't push, don't push your religion on me.

But the second we start talking about politics, oh, here's what we think, and if you don't think this, you're wrong, or here's what my worldview says, and if your worldview doesn't say that, then it's wrong, and then it all it becomes also self-centered.

But the second we start talking about Jesus, there's a problem, yeah.

And um, and man, I think um That's that societal disconnect.

Yeah.

You know, where everybody's like, oh nope, that conversation's off limits, I don't want to go there, you know.

Yeah, and it's like it's hard, man, but you know, we're called to talk about it.

Yeah, period.

No if, ands, or buts, you know, like that's well beyond that, man.

Like when I was no better than than those those people, I was one of those people.

But Brantley, I mean, think about that, man.

He he comes up to this center, this man in the gym who is known around the school for for bad reputation, doesn't believe in God, doesn't think the same way he does, sits there and we're hanging out, we're getting food together, I mean, he's loving on me, trying to bring me into church, man.

And it's all it took.

I was his one more.

And through his love, and through his, I mean, he's not pushing the Bible, pushing Jesus on me, man, but he offered me the hope of the gospel.

Just like Jesus offers his free gift of salvation.

It's our job to have our hands out and offer the hope to people, right?

But we can't make them take it.

But it's our love that softens their heart.

It was his love for me, seeing the love of Christ through him that softened my heart.

It takes real work.

It doesn't take apologetics as much as knowing every in and out of the Bible.

It takes something that's honestly a lot harder.

It takes dying to yourself, giving yourself up for people, putting yourself on that cross to love people and let the love of Christ flow through you into the people who society rejects the people that are are at rock bottom, that are low.

I mean, the the ones that are that are weak and weary.

You see, um in Matthew 11, 28, Jesus says, Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

My yoke for my yoke is comfortable, my burden is light.

So man, there's so many weary people in this world.

They might on the outside have this pride and this ego and this whatever, but on the inside I guarantee you they're weary.

I guarantee you that they're hopeless.

Yeah, for sure.

And um man, all they need is rest.

And there's no greater rest than in Jesus, man.

Yep.

I mean, that that's the one true wet rest.

I mean, you can work for 48 hours straight and be tired, man, but just because you're up doesn't mean you can't find rest in in Jesus.

You know, he he can heal all things and provide all things and give us everything that we need no matter where we're at in life.

Yeah.

And unconditional love creates rest too, because there's no anxiety to perform.

If you get a friend like Brantley, man, there was no anxiety for me to have to perform and to please him.

I mean, he saw me at the darkest part of who I was and loved me.

Yeah.

I mean, I had rest.

You know, he was a living, breathing example of the love of Jesus.

And Lord knows, I mean, he's far from perfect.

He's a sinner just like me and you.

I'm not putting him on a pedestal, but man, it's his love.

It's the Holy Spirit through him that that captivated me to not give up hope.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, I think uh I think that's a pretty good spot to wrap it up, you know.

Um we uh really appreciate you coming and taking your time to you know join us for this and and share your testimony with the with the viewers, man.

I think uh that was a solid um place for maybe some of the listeners to just kind of like be like, man, that's me.

Um and we just we really appreciate your time and um man, it's it's been such a blessing to uh share time with you in group every week, man, and just uh just have you there walking that that walk with us and fighting that battle with us and just working some of the working through some of the things that we're all going through, you know, in group as brothers, man.

And uh we really appreciate you, dude.

Yeah.

And um Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, this has been awesome.

Yeah.

I mean, I've just uh like I I read your testimony when you said uh sent me um the thing you typed up the other day, and man, it just hits different in person, and I'm sure it's gonna really shatter some hearts and and just be a such a good example of how of how Jesus can take your your your most filthy rags and turn it into something beautiful.

Yeah, for sure.

Um but yeah, I I'm I thank you so much for being here.

Uh I'm gonna pray out and um thank you guys for watching.

God, thank you so much for for this episode.

Thank you for today, and thank you for for Gavin and the work you have done in his life.

God, I pray that you would just use the use his testimony and use his life, Lord, uh, to to bring forth fruit and to bring forth um just king uh just people who are just on fire for the gospel, Lord.

Uh God, we just pray that this episode will reach our one more and that you would just use it to uh to touch the hearts of of just one person, Lord.

And uh God, we just thank you.

Thank you for everything you've done, and thank you for the finished work of the cross in Jesus' name.

Amen.

The Story